I wasn’t expecting today. The Grace with which my life is being so consistently imbued is still a surprise to me. I can’t ever imagine being complacent about Miracles. The surrender of habit and the willingness to follow the Holy Spirit in every moment is an adventure into the unknown.
I was feeling into what may be “next,” perhaps, the USA when the Spirit reminded me that I was still in Canada, now. I felt a sparkle and did a search on Facebook for my friends who live in Canada. I was instantly drawn to one image only to discover that the woman actually lives in Edmonton. Totally unaware of the late hour I sent her a note to see if she would like to meet for tea. She responded instantly with, “Yes!”
We met this morning at her favorite coffee shop. I had awoken with a strange heaviness, something I am no longer accustomed to. As I made my way the short walk I began to have difficulty breathing, it was a bizarre oppressive weight. Like being crushed under terrible grief—but nothing was wrong. I paused but could not find any “cause” in mind, I was looking forward to the joining. And here is the Grace, being Given the Answer before you even discover a problem. On meeting she hugged me, the liquid warmth of her welcome suffused every inch of my being and I could breathe. Her little daughter joined us and we sat and talked for over an hour.
In casual conversation she succinctly addressed one by one the thoughts that had been lingering just out of my awareness. Tears started streaming down my face. She asked me “what was happening?” I told her it was like liquid gold, the love of Christ streaming through my body. She continued to share her feeling on all things Forgiveness, teachers, teaching and the manner of Spiritual Callings. It was answering doubt thoughts against myself I didn’t even know I was holding. I just kept nodding, with relief flowing from my eyes grateful for this incredible Presence.
I was wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger and there was nothing expected of me as this “host to God.” I was reminded there was no role I needed live up to. There may be words to share but they would not be mine, and there may be people to meet but they would be sent. But this—experience—was all I was being asked to welcome. This was my Call at once Given and Answered. To be lit by the light of Love. To simply show up and bathe in this Innocence by relinquishing my own personal sense of self, and seeming other.
So as I sit back, sinking into this incredible gift I have been Given, this Holy Grail for which the whole world is searching. I am reminded that Christ is made visible by my trust, and felt by my openness to walk His Way, unknowing and following as a Child.
My cup runneth over.