We Would Rather

We would rather believe that we failed, than that we are wrong.
We would rather believe that we did something wrong,
than be mistaken about what we believe now.

We would rather believe that we should try harder and jump through more torturous hoops to justify our underlying beliefs than that we could question them. We are addicted to misery, wildly attracted by guilt and high on pain. We don’t want to be healed… we merely want relief from our symptoms.

books open lying on the floor studying seeking searching for answers

proof of evidence studying to reinforce belief

We desire to be right. To be what we have esteemed our whole lives. Whether that’s a good mother, daughter, brother, doctor, shoe salesman, green peace activist, or a healthy person. We would rather be fit, and slim than happy. We would rather settle for mediocre under the radar existence than to shine and be joyfully mistaken about everything.

I have a friend who recently was willing to allow every one to drive off a cliff in Italy rather than interrupt a conversation and break with her “Minnie Mouse” persona to suggest a safe place to turn that she had spotted along the road. Luckily someone else spoke up. She laughs about it now. It is our magnitude that we are hiding—not our failings!


The above segment of “We would rather believe that we failed” was originally published here on this site December 3, 2010. Reposted 03-07-2021