Day 2 : 40-Days of Reflection on Christ Presence

The involuntary nature of this 40-day retreat is beautiful. There was no intention to offer any Lenten extension or to do something for myself, yet suddenly I’m up through the night with and a searchlight of Clarity streaming forth, bringing together a whole range of inspiration for reflection and creating web pages. I am in delight at being led. I didn’t even know there was a *subscribe function on this website where those who felt to stay connected could be reminded of the Presence and prayer.

I’m having a real experience of being “taken” inward. It is a more a rapid withdrawal than usual. The choice point seems to have been previously accepted, rather than in the moment and the dropping deep and inward is sudden and commonplace. I feel very much “with it” and let go.

Everything feels Given—the way the world is being orchestrated around “Sarah.” An energetic agreement through time and space that this dropping away is to be facilitated and I watch as the common living room space soon clears as I sink in. “I” do not need to sequester my self to meditate right now there is an unfolding total release of tension between inner and outer. Snow fills the mountains and drifts down the valley silencing the busyness of modern life. It justifies surrendering menial outward errands for a later date and cocoons the resting mind. The body began to fast, the draw to food, fellowship and film has fallen away without restriction. Everything is provided.

One funny thing—the feet became very cold, frigid even. Nothing could warm them, not fluffy socks nor fondle from my consort could revive them. Even showering with a stopper did not melt the ice clodden usually hot hobbit feet. So I sat with these “cold feet” a childhood symbol of vulnerability, and surrendered their meaning.

Each sensation needs retranslation on this journey as we take cues and attribute blame and consequence to all manner of false cause and effect. Even associated memories around a seeming upsetting event can hold guilt triggers around objects and ideas that are benign.

In fact this is what the subliminal mind untraining of  A Course in Miracles is practically focused on: I could see peace instead of this.

The shorter applications are to be frequent, and made whenever you feel your peace of mind is threatened in any way. The purpose is to protect yourself from temptation throughout the day. If a specific form of temptation arises in your awareness, the exercise should take this form: I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it. —ACIM (W-pI.34.5)

This “Development of Trust” as the Course refers to it, is what allows us to Accept we are under Christ control.

When you are willing to accept our relationship as real, guilt will hold no attraction for you.  For in our union you will accept all of our brothers. The gift of union is the only gift that I was born to give. Give it to me, that you may have it. The time of Christ is the time appointed for the gift of freedom, offered to everyone. And by your acceptance of it, you offer it to everyone. It is in your power to make this season holy, for it is in your power to make the time of Christ be now.” —A Course in Miracles (T-15.X.3)

I felt to wash the feet. I prepared a basin with soft bubbles and hot water and for two hours bathed them with renewed waters and prayer. I realized this was the welcome sign of Acceptance for invulnerability. It brought such depth of relief that I was drawn to Jesus’ use of feet washing in the Bible. I knew he had praised Mary of Magdalenes washing of His feet. Then I was led to this passage:

Know ye what I have done to you? Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. —John 13:12-17 (KJV)

Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me …
He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet,
but is clean every whit [meaning: whole; all]

Jesus washed all the apostles feet—meaning that this would wipe away all stain of Judas’ alleged betrayal and just like the thief on the cross would have him in relationship with him in Christ in his Father’s Kingdom. Our belief in sacrifice is very deep and stems from our one mistake / belief, which is occurring now, and not in the past as regret seems to suggest.

It is possible to do this all at once because there is but one shift in perception that is necessary, for you made but one mistake. It seems like many, but it is all the same. For though the ego takes many forms, it is always the same idea. What is not love is always fear, and nothing else. —ACIM (T-15.X.4:2-5)

What father condemns a child for fear? It is here that “Love waits on welcome, not on time.” For Heaven must appear as a choice. One you can voluntarily make when freed at least momentarily from the mesmerism of guilt: fear. One undivided Call for Love and it is Answered. A yielding right of Way to Christ control and our True Identity as Spirit. “God is but love and therefore so am I.”

A portion of yesterdays post kept returning to me from The Imitation of Christ, and it is this quote that began my reflection and writing today. It has led us all here to find Innocence in our Brother Judas.

Again one word with “a sensation” that required more reflection: to see Peace instead of this. The use of the word “sacrifice” in a description of potent invite and welcome clearly saying there was no loss only sublime joining. Why?

At first I thought perhaps the word was lost in translation through a lack of intimate experience of the translator. But then I felt not to minimize the feeling and to rest deeper in Trust that there was a gift for me here. And so I discovered the purpose of the washing of the feet was a re-inclusion of Judas (which I have never heard anyone speak of). And the meaning that Jesus Himself said it had, and why it was important “for all to be washed”, was not because they were inherent sinners, but because one amongst them believed he was doing something autonomously!

Despite the impetus Judas had to force Jesus’ hand to demonstrate to all he was The Messiah, he sincerely believed it was for the good. Something that when no miraculous demonstration took place would later lead him to believe he himself was unclean, and excluded himself from the Brotherhood of Christ. This understanding of Forgiveness did not seem to be demonstrated by Judas’ character when he hung himself so it must be intentioned for us here and now, so we do not condemn our Brother or ourselves.

In the bible passage it is Simon Peter who at first refuses, and in so doing allows Jesus to clarify the purpose of the apostles needing to voluntarily receive “the washing” in order to Accept that they have “a part” with Christ, meaning Messiah.

Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet? Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter. Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me. Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean, but not all. —John 13:6-10 (KJV)

Here is actual evidence of the Innocence of the passion play for Awakening revealed! Here is the sting of shame removed from the very idea that God’s plan could be betrayed, or that sacrifice was required.

Even Jesus does not wish us to be “unequally yoked” if it would make us feel that Christ control is a sacrifice rather than a joyful preference you’d happily give up a lesser experience in favor of.

Judas says, “Yes” to the intimate washing of his feet, no shame or self loathing could withstand that. That is Jesus saying: Behold the choice for Christ in my Brother. When we are under Christ control the only loss is self judgement. There is a trust that “all things work together for good” though we may not be able to see “how?”

The Holy Spirit is the HOW! As we have talked about before, [Tremble] most of the apostles faltered when first parted from Jesus during the three days in the tomb. And for most of “us” there does seem to be a period of fluctuation until we stabilize our sense of Identity under Christ control, and experience no opposition. That is the purpose of the Holy Spirit, and confirmation.

In the Sacrament of Confirmation the baptized person is”sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit” and is strengthened for service to the Body of Christ. The prophets of the Old Testament foretold that God’s Spirit would rest upon the Messiah to sustain his mission, as happened when John baptized Jesus (and there was resurrection in mind) which sustained his 40-days in the desert after which he began his public ministry.

And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: and lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Matthew 3:16-17 (KJV)

Here it is again from The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis originally in medieval latin c.1419
Some resign themselves, but with certain reservations, for they do not fully trust in God, therefore they think that they have some provision to make for themselves.

Some again at first offer everything; but afterwards being pressed by temptation they return to their own devices, and thus make no progress in virtue. [highest order; Christ control]

They will not attain to the true liberty of a pure heart, nor to the grace of My sweet companionship, unless they first entirely resign themselves and daily offer themselves up as a sacrifice; [yielding autonomy in favor of partnership like a bride of Christ being equally yoked] without this the union which bringeth forth fruit standeth not nor will stand.

Therefore in our 40-days of reflections on Christ Presence it seems our focus is two-fold:

1. To resign ourselves without “reservation” to Trust in the Voice for God, and to not fall for the temptation to believe we “have some provision to make for” ourselves. The Course shares that we will be happy learners as long as we don’t “attempt to plan the future, activate the past, or organize the present.” We will be fed with mana from Heaven because Divine Providence is everything you need for Awakening, freely Given!
   
2. And to open our hearts to the intimacy and attraction of being equally yoked with our Brother Jesus in Christ.

You will not succeed in being partial hostage to the ego, for it keeps no bargains and would leave you nothing. Nor can you be partial host to it. You must choose between total freedom and total bondage, for there are no alternatives but these. You have tried many compromises in the attempt to avoid recognizing the one decision you must make. And yet it is the recognition of the decision, just as it is, that makes the decision so easy. Salvation is simple, being of God, and therefore very easy to understand. Do not try to project it from you and see it outside yourself. In you are both the question and the answer; the demand for sacrifice and the peace of God. —A Course in Miracles (T-15.X.9)

I put this comment for myself at the bottom of this page rather than at the top, because I was sure by the end I would understand: “I’m not even sure what the Given title: Reflections on Christ Presence is inviting me to share in these 40-days?”

Trust does settle every problem now!
There is a plan for Awakening

Love, Sarah

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[NOTES]

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